If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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