Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.