A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for