Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
