How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
