The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
