Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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