Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize