oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
