She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
so much tequila, so little girl.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
