I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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