They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
