She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Randomize
