i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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