He had one of those small greek statue penises
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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