you didnt know i had herpes?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
