I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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