Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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