he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
