It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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