Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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