i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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