he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
