thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
