you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
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How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
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last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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