it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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