Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
