im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize