You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
