he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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