hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
