fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
