She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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