i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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