im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
