i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
