woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
We named our party play list daddy issues
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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