i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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