is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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