Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
