ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
