your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
