threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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