My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Everything about him screamed your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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