Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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