I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
