blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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