considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
