I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
