why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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