New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Blood and glitter go together right?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
