Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
