There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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