You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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