well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
