I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
