apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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