i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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