I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize