new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
