I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
